RESENTMENT

I don't believe in humanity anymore

I don't understand how this world is functioning

I don't know what's happening inside me

I only find security in being alone inside my room

The world outside is scary

I'm afraid of being used by people

I fear people's reaction towards me

I fear of getting manipulated

I fear of being humiliated

Thus I set my boundaries strong

and live finding contentment with myself

However,

just now, I was forced to attend our huge family gathering... being there.. was a wrong decision

I was uncomfortable, sad and dejected.

That was the most fake event I had in my entire life. My smile, my laughter, the force to do so.. I could really feel it. 

I can feel that I didn't belong to this family.

I was sad with the fact that no one cares about me which brought me into thinking of why would I?

Wasn't I the one who'd decided on leaving all of them behind? 

Wasn't I the one who'd wanted to be content with just myself?

It still hurts

I might say so to protect myself right?

because the reality is exactly like my ego had expected.

I envied my sister who had so many things to talk to my mom, and how she was cared and listened to. Her return is what makes everyone's in the house happy. 

My return is vice versa

I hate my life.

I hate my r******

There is no justice in this world

There is no place for people like me

There is no love for people like me

There is no care for people like me

So please! 

Stand up by yourself

Prove that you don't need them in your life

Travel the world with your money