Clinical Phase
I'm writing this entry on my way to Terengganu.
It has been 10 weeks of adapting life inside a hospital. I guess from overall experience up to this point, it is sweet but terrifying.
Internal medicine was my first posting.
32 of us were divided into 8 groups. Each group was assigned to different wards. After a week, the groups exchanged and rotated. My group was assigned to clinic the first week. It sounded cool right, like we had to attend patient like a general practitioner. Hahaha, instead, we were there to just observe the consultation and learn. That's all.. ohh, not to forget, to get the evidence of learning (cop mohor MO) XD. I could say that the first week was the best as a lot of cases could be observed in clinics. However, that was when I realised my back was not that strong to stand still for 3 hours. The fact that my friends from surgical posting had to stand still observing four to six hours operation - ahh, I could not imagine me being in their shoes. Lying on bed after going to the clinics was like heaven - simply become moment of the day XD.
The next two week, we had to follow ward round in 7S.
We, medical students were expected to clerk patients and present the case to the specialist or medical officers during the round.
Hmmm, but I failed to do so, over and over again. I could clerk patient well, I did clerk two patient every morning but never being brave enough to present each case I had clerked.
I was scared. I just realised that I had fear towards those of prestige. I became panicked when I came across the specialist or the MOs, I could loss my mind and just want to get out of their sight. I became pale, tired and breathless that my mind was blank.
That was my biggest weakness in this field but I had to get rid of it. But Howwww??
I always wanted to do better day after day. Every day I woke up with motivation to present a case, but everyday would end up demotivating. For few weeks I was depressed.
By Allah's help.. the housemen became approachable. I could ask questions and they could ask me to help them with ward works casually. Thanks to those friendly housemen, I gained confident in interacting with my superior. I started slowly by trying to ask questions to the specialist in class. Something that I never did before. I always told myself that the questions inside my mind were stupid questions that could be searched online. I would never ask openly thinking that it would be worse if people thought it is "stupid" to be brought up to the whole class. How toxic I was to myself back then. My questions were fortunately not stupid at all, and I could understand more by the explaination from the lecturers instead of from the google. I took me longer time than my college to adapt the posting. I took seven weeks to control the fear and finay managed to present cases. Alhamdulillah. It is so true that each of us has different pace - as long as I am still walking, moving forward non stop, no matter how slow I am, I could still reach my dream.
I'm in my second posting now. Still walking towards improvement day by day.
Internal medicine was my first posting.
32 of us were divided into 8 groups. Each group was assigned to different wards. After a week, the groups exchanged and rotated. My group was assigned to clinic the first week. It sounded cool right, like we had to attend patient like a general practitioner. Hahaha, instead, we were there to just observe the consultation and learn. That's all.. ohh, not to forget, to get the evidence of learning (cop mohor MO) XD. I could say that the first week was the best as a lot of cases could be observed in clinics. However, that was when I realised my back was not that strong to stand still for 3 hours. The fact that my friends from surgical posting had to stand still observing four to six hours operation - ahh, I could not imagine me being in their shoes. Lying on bed after going to the clinics was like heaven - simply become moment of the day XD.
The next two week, we had to follow ward round in 7S.
We, medical students were expected to clerk patients and present the case to the specialist or medical officers during the round.
Hmmm, but I failed to do so, over and over again. I could clerk patient well, I did clerk two patient every morning but never being brave enough to present each case I had clerked.
I was scared. I just realised that I had fear towards those of prestige. I became panicked when I came across the specialist or the MOs, I could loss my mind and just want to get out of their sight. I became pale, tired and breathless that my mind was blank.
That was my biggest weakness in this field but I had to get rid of it. But Howwww??
I always wanted to do better day after day. Every day I woke up with motivation to present a case, but everyday would end up demotivating. For few weeks I was depressed.
By Allah's help.. the housemen became approachable. I could ask questions and they could ask me to help them with ward works casually. Thanks to those friendly housemen, I gained confident in interacting with my superior. I started slowly by trying to ask questions to the specialist in class. Something that I never did before. I always told myself that the questions inside my mind were stupid questions that could be searched online. I would never ask openly thinking that it would be worse if people thought it is "stupid" to be brought up to the whole class. How toxic I was to myself back then. My questions were fortunately not stupid at all, and I could understand more by the explaination from the lecturers instead of from the google. I took me longer time than my college to adapt the posting. I took seven weeks to control the fear and finay managed to present cases. Alhamdulillah. It is so true that each of us has different pace - as long as I am still walking, moving forward non stop, no matter how slow I am, I could still reach my dream.
I'm in my second posting now. Still walking towards improvement day by day.
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