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Dear self,

I am so proud of you just now that you still able to connect to something that remind you of Allah and shed tears. I want to keep the quote here to always remind you how much Allah loves you dear self.

'When Allah pushes you to the edge of difficulty, trust Him fully because two things can happen, either He'll catch you when you fall or He'll teach you how to fly.'

I think He is teaching you how to fly right now, that's why the process is different, complicated and not similar like any other difficulties you've faced before. Do not lose Allah in your life, ok. Keep on fighting, dear self.